South Africa: Act Like a Man, Act Like a Woman: Respect Starts Here

Quotable Quote

“I’ve learned the importance of respecting women.” – Necro Shoba

Story

In Durban, South Africa, a single conversation changed the way Necro Shoba views relationships, respect, and responsibility. As an entrepreneur and community member, Necro attended a Tavern Dialogue in April 2022 under the Rise Up Against Gender Based Violence programme supported by Gender Links. What he learned that day reshaped his life. “Since I met the team, I learned the importance of respecting women, the importance of knowing how to treat women and realising where we most go wrong as men,” Necro shares.

Before this encounter, Necro admits he had not fully understood the impact of harmful behaviours and societal norms that perpetuate gender-based violence (GBV). The dialogue opened his eyes to the mistakes men often make, sometimes unconsciously, and the urgent need to change.

“I became aware of my mistakes and learned to understand and treat each other better. I regained my dignity,” he says. For Necro, dignity is not just a personal value; it is a social responsibility. He now chooses his associations carefully, surrounding himself with people who share his commitment to respect and equality.

One of the most striking lessons for Necro was the link between substance abuse and violence. In many communities, alcohol and drugs fuel arguments that escalate into abuse. Necro now advocates for a cultural shift: “Mistreating people when intoxicated needs to change at a societal level,” he insists. His own behaviour reflects this change—he has learned to control his alcohol consumption and drink responsibly. “I drink to celebrate, not to affect other people,” he explains.

This transformation is not just about personal growth; it is about challenging norms that normalise violence and disrespect. Tavern Dialogues create safe spaces for men and women to confront these issues openly, fostering accountability and empathy. They remind participants that GBV is not inevitable, it is preventable when communities commit to change.

Gender Links’ partnership with Rise Up Against Gender Based Violence demonstrates the power of grassroots interventions. By meeting people where they are, in taverns and informal settings, the programme dismantles barriers and sparks conversations that lead to real, lasting change.

Necro’s story is a testament to this impact. His journey from awareness to action shows that respect begins with understanding and that every individual has the power to break the cycle of violence. His message is clear: “We must learn to treat each other better.” When communities embrace this principle, they create safer homes, stronger families, and a future free from violence.

By: Necro Shoba