Zimbabwe: I regret being married to a liar and cheat

In 2013 I got married to Upenyu* whilst I had one child from my previously failed marriage. Upenyu* lied to me that he was never married before. I later realised that he had four children from two previous marriages. All the four children were staying with their maternal relatives. I was working as a nurse aid in the Zimbabwe’s capital, Harare. He was paying child support for all his four children. He never allowed me to visit his workplace and did not want me to be aware of how much he earned. I also later found out that he was always in trouble with his bosses and was often on suspension or even dismissed. He would quickly get another job before I knew what would have taken place. He did not allow any of his workmates to visit us as he assumed that they would divulge his shenanigans.  

Upenyu* often told me to quit my job and stay at our rural home but I refused. Whenever I was not at work I would be at our rural home. One day Upenyu* did the most unthinkable thing of writing a resignation letter and forging my signature then handed it to my employers. When I reported for duty my employers told me that I had to report to the human resources department. I was then told to expect my benefits in a month’s time since they were finalising the paperwork. I was taken aback by what my husband had done. They had even advertised for the vacant post and it was impossible for them to reverse the management’s decision. 

I stayed at my in-laws house in one of the city’s high density suburbs with Upenyu* and only visited the rural areas when I was not at work. My husband cheated on me with several women. He wanted me to permanently stay in the rural areas so that he would freely be with his numerous girlfriends. Upenyu* would spend even three to four months without visiting us at home or sending some money for our upkeep. He always cited that there was a lot of pressure at his workplace and that they were not being regularly paid. He said that the employers were blaming the country’s economic hardships for not paying the workers. I suggested that he resigns but he would have none of that.  

I later heard that Upenyu* was not wellby some people who stay near him in the city. I called him and he rejected by saying they were just rumours but I could feel that he was lying to me. I paid him a visit and found him sick in bed and staying with a pregnant woman. He was shocked to see me coming unannounced. The pregnant lady was also stunnedto learn that Upenyu* had a wife and children because she had been lied to that he was a widower. Upenyu* immediately gave me some bus fare and ordered me to go back. He promised to come the following day and resolve the matter together with our elders at home. I returned the same day without being offered anything to eat.  

I narrated everything to my mother in law but surprisingly she supported Upenyu*. She insulted me for visiting him without his consent. She even told me that Upenyu* had called her and narrated everything to her. He had lied to her that I had beaten up her pregnant wife and threatened to douse everything with paraffin and light the whole house. I was heartbroken when I had of such falsehoods. I tried calling Upenyu* but he had blocked calls from my cellular phone since he knew of the damage he had done.  

When Upenyu* finally camehome he went to his mother’s place with his new wife. He accused me of bewitching him and wanted nothing to do with me. He even denied me entry into the kitchen hut that he was in.Upenyu* convinced everyone that I was a threat to the entire family hence he wanted a divorce. His new wife was crying all along saying she did not only fear for her life but also considered the unborn baby. I was dumbfounded by such allegations being levelled against me.  

Upenyu* stayed at his mother’s place for a few days and finally left for the city with his pregnant wife. He openly told me to leave for my home area. i have now resorted to market gardening as a means of survival.