Zimbabwe: Harmful social beliefs affected my life
I am CresenciaKajevhu nee Kativu. I was born in 1969 to a family of five. I and my twin brother we are the eldest.
In 1979 my father decided to spend the Christmas holiday at our rural home in Mudzi. It was during the time of the liberation struggle and at that time the war was coming to an end. Life in rural areas was very tough because of the war. While were still in Mudzi it was announced that no one is allowed to go to urban areas and doing so you will be labeled a sell-out and suffer the consequences. It was stated that anyone who disobeys the instruction his or her entire family will be killed.
The situation forced us not to return to our urban home where my father was working. We stayed at our rural home until March 1980 when elections were held and the country won its independence. Now that we were free our father returned back to Gweru hoping to reclaim his job. When he arrived at his workplace he discovered that he was replaced and his services were no longer required. He was frustrated and he sold our house and spends all the money on beer and women. He never returned to the village and we continued staying with our mother.
Staying with our mother without any source of income made life very tough for us. We were living in abject poverty and my mother failed to endure the pain and she ran away. We were left in the custody of our old grandmother. Our situation worsened because our grandmother was too old and we were a heavy burden to her. As the eldest child taking care of the house became my responsibility. I started doing heavy tasks like pounding mealie meal and ploughing at a very early stage to fend for the family.Our grandmother was brewing opaque beer for sale so that she will send us to school. She also used to provide labour to our school as payment for our school fees. She was very strict and she used to give us tough punishments. She could even deny you food as a punishment to any wrong doing.
In 1983 I passed my primary examinations with two units and my twin brother got three units. Despite the fact that I had performed better than my brother he was given first preference to go to school. My grandmother told us that she is not able to send us both to secondary school so the girl must stay home and get married while the boys goes to school.I tried to run away to go and stay with my mothers’ relatives but my aunt followed and brought me back. I was ordered not to visit my mothers’ relatives and the instruction was accompanied by a thorough beating.
Every morning seeing other children going to school while I was at home was a painful experience. One day I went to the fields and sat at the middle of the maize field. I cried from morning until 3pm. I was not able to share my problem with anyone because I was not allowed to visit other relatives or play with other children. Playing with other children was considered an obstruction as far as household chores were concerned. While seated at the middle of the field crying alone I realised that life is useless and I decided to end it all. I blamed my parents for putting me in such a mess. The thought that the next life will be better gave me the energy to look for ways to end my life.
I finally stood up and walked from the fields to our garden where grandmother kept her pesticides. Upon reaching the garden I took the pesticide and drank it. I do not know what later happened because I lost consciousness. I woke up lying on a hospital bed with a drip inserted into my body. I recovered very well but I was disappointed that the poison failed to kill me. I was counseled by the hospital staff and they referred me to the social welfare. The social welfare department agreed to pay my school fees and I went to school up to form four. My grandmother continued with her idea of me getting married. She told me that if I continue going to school I will end up becoming a prostitute. I do not blame her because that was a socially constructed belief that was engraved one her mind. However, I budged in to the pressure and I got married.
I am happily married and I have five children that is, two boys and three girls. My husband is currently not employed and we earn a living through collecting waste and selling it to recyclers. We also manufacture floor polish using plastic waste and sell it within our community.
