Time to let go

Written by *Tshego

"My name is Tshego*originally from Mogonye village, a woman of 39 with two girl children aged 20 and 16 years respectively.

I am working in Maun and in 2007, I met a 30 years old man. We fell in love. He was very abusive.He forced me to have sex with him. He would go out with girls whenever he wanted. He played loud music till morning when I was on the night shift.

My problem is that I am afraid to leave him because he is always threatening me and is not afraid of the police. I suspect he is using dagga, he is always drunk. He does not want to see me happy. During one of my pregnancies, he kicked me on the tummy and asked whyI was crying.

Everytime I call the police for him he asks for my forgiveness. I agree hoping that he will change for the better. I have sought help from the police, tribal administration and District Commissioner's Office who warned him and the last warning he got was that from the Customary Court. After the warning he still abuses me. I had to move to Francistown for my safety. He is accusing me of dragging his name in mud as everyone in Maun now knows him for his abusive behavior.

I have now taken it upon myself to part ways with him. He is younger than me and not even working now. I would like to forget about him and hope he stops threatening me. I understand he is even boasting that I cannot leave him because he loves me. At the same time, he tells people that I wasted his time and did not give him a child.

I am afraid of him and his behavior that is why I want to end the relationship. I am even scared to talk to him on the phone. I just want to leave Maun and be on my own so I can think clearly. I trust in God that everything will be fine."

*Not her real name.
This story is a personal account that is also used in The Gender Based Violence Indicators Study Botswana by Gender Links and Women's Affairs Department, Botswana.