South Africa: Life will go on

Limpopo, 27 November: My ordeal began on 6 November 2011 at 4pm in the afternoon. My ex-boyfriend beat me when he saw me in his mother's yard where I had gone to collect my money. He pushed me in a bush where he continued beating me. He also stoned me and used wood to beat me. He took out a knife, undressed me and raped me for two to three hours.

He later told me that he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life and that the next day he wanted to go with me to Tswane. He decided that we should sleep at his parent's house that night. He begged me not to tell anyone about what had happened. We found his parents sitting outside. His mother told me that people had seen him beating a girl down the road, but she found nothing when she went looking. I told her what had happened and that I was going to report him to the police. She begged me not to report to the police.

I ended up running away and sleeping at a friend's parent's house. I was afraid that he would come for me during the night. My mother came to fetch me and we went to the police station. The police took me to the hospital's Trauma Centre. I spoke to a victim advocate, who counselled me until I was able to accept what had happened to me.

My ex-boyfriend ran away when he heard that the police were looking for him. But one day he returned. He came to apologise to and tried to give me some money as compensation. I refused to accept the money.

He was not arrested because the police said his docket disappeared so they could not proceed with the case. I was so angry and so hurt. The experience left me badly injured. I had bruises all over my body and my leg was broken. I became so afraid of men and I could not sleep properly, nor could I concentrate at school. I felt like killing myself sometimes and lost weight because I couldn't eat properly. I felt embarrassed to walk around.

My social worker encouraged me never to believe that my life was over.

*Not her real name

Keketso comes from the Limpopo Province in South Africa. This story is part of the "I" Stories series produced by the Gender Links News Service as part of the 16 Days of Activism campaign against gender violence, encouraging the view that speaking out can set you free.