South Africa: Whoever Angers You Owns You

A Journey of Passion and Purpose

“Whoever angers you owns you.” This powerful phrase has become the guiding principle for Alan Symons, a certified Anger and Stress Management Consultant and Facilitator based in Amanzimtoti, South Africa. Alan’s work is not just a profession. It is a calling rooted in a lifelong commitment to reducing destructive anger and its devastating consequences, particularly gender-based violence (GBV).

Alan’s journey as a driver of change began long before his formal training. Today, he consults at Turning Point, also known as the Amanzimtoti Trauma Centre, where he works closely with social workers and community members. His sessions are structured, practical, and deeply empathetic have helped hundreds of individuals regain control over anger and stress. With over 800 sessions conducted, Alan’s approach is systematic: identify triggers, provide 12 actionable steps, and equip clients with tools for lasting change. Each programme averages four hours, ensuring participants leave with comprehensive notes and strategies to transform their lives.

Referrals come from diverse sources: trauma units, legal authorities, schools, churches, and even word of mouth. Alan’s doors are open to everyone, regardless of beliefs, gender identity, or background. His mission is clear: not to change who people are, but to help them overcome destructive behaviours that often spiral into abuse.

The Seed of Change

Alan’s passion for anger management was planted early. At just 10 years old, he witnessed a harrowing scene: a woman desperately hanging out of a window, trying to escape her husband’s violent assault. The couple had attended the same church service as Alan’s family that morning. “This cannot happen,” Alan thought, and that conviction stayed with him. It was the seed that grew into a lifelong commitment to tackling anger the silent driver behind so many cases of GBV.

“Anger is one of the main issues that causes GBV statistics to rise,” Alan explains. His collaboration with the Amanzimtoti Trauma Unit amplifies this message through community awareness campaigns on GBV and its devastating impact.

Building Expertise Through Experience

Alan’s professional journey equipped him with invaluable skills for conflict resolution and stress management. From leading the largest trade union in his factory to serving as a Regional Human Resources Manager, Alan honed his ability to channel anger into constructive outcomes. Later, as a plant trainer and then a full-time pastor for 20 years, he deepened his understanding of human behaviour and emotional resilience.

Yet, Alan felt a growing need to reach beyond the walls of the church. “I just felt that my pastoral call was not meeting the needs of the thousands outside,” he reflects. This realisation led him to Cape Town, where he trained under Shelton Kartun and became a certified anger and stress consultant in May 2011.

A Mission That Saves Lives

Alan’s work is more than counselling. It is prevention. By addressing anger and stress, he helps reduce GBV, bullying, domestic violence, road rage, and other forms of intolerance. His mantra, “Whoever angers you owns you,” resonates deeply with clients, reminding them that surrendering to anger means giving away control. Through seminars, workplace talks, and one-on-one sessions, Alan empowers individuals to reclaim that control. His efforts ripple through families, schools, and communities, creating safer spaces and fostering healthier relationships.

The Impact of One Person’s Passion

Alan’s story is a testament to the power of personal conviction. From a childhood moment of horror to a career dedicated to healing, he exemplifies what it means to be a driver of change. His undying passion continues to transform lives, proving that when anger is managed, peace becomes possible.

“What a privilege,” Alan says. And indeed, it is—for him and for the countless lives touched by his work.

By: Alan Symons