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Recently, many debates have sprouted on polygamy. A few years ago, I stood uncertain of my position on the matter. That was until South African President Jacob Zuma got in front of the world and defended polygamy with culture.
His speeches triggered something in me, making me want to find the cultural link between polygamy and the African tradition that I am so proud of. In the end, I realised my firm standing position on polygamy.
When polygamy (a man married to more than one wife) became part of our culture, polyandry (woman married to more than one husband) was never considered. A practise that does not promote equality is a guaranteed no in my book... and I just have one question for polygamy defenders: what's culture got to do with?
The greatest defenders of polygamy attribute the practise to culture. Some of or traditional African culture was lost at the hands of colonialism and religious segregation, destroying the pride of Africa and modernising some of its cultural practises. Today, some use the need to restore cultures to justify their actions.
Africanism has always taught us to be proud of who we are. When Jacob Zuma defended his polygamous marriages with cultural reasoning in front of the world at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland, his speech became predictable and resembled an excuse many polygamous men give in Africa. Zuma said, "In South Africa we follow a policy that says you must respect the culture of others. Some think their culture is superior to others that's a problem we have in the world."
Surely, Africa has an identity problem in its hands and I understand the sudden urge to restore the broken walls of culture. However, that is not where our problem is, our problem is in the midst of cultural practices made lawful during a time that did not have all its citizens at heart, namely women.
In her speech ‘African Feminism' taking a ‘cultural turn', Sylvia Tamale said cultures lend and cultures borrow, they can be as oppressed, colonised, exploited, submerged and depreciated as they may be liberating and empowering. Polygamy does not give any empowerment to women.
The reasons many women in polygamous marriages give for their decision to enter polygamous unions links to a sense of obligation, a need to satisfy religious and cultural duties. I still need to hear a good reason from women who support polygamy other than, "there aint enough men in world for all the African women."
When polygamy became a part of our society, men ruled and wanted their sexual desires satisfied. He wanted to have a male son who could take over his household when he died, he wanted to show that he has power and wealth - so he married all the wives he could to fulfil his dream.
There are many reasons why Africans practised polygamy but here are the common reasons given through the years:
• A man's wealth is measured by the number of wives and children he has
• The more wives a man has, the more political alliances he makes.
• Agriculturally is easier to have a big family to cultivate the land
• Women were safer in a large household
• It gives men sexual gratification
• Polygamy is a child spacer, it allows a woman time to rest before trying to bear another son for her husband.
• It ensures that most young girls are married off or assured of a husband if their husbands die (widow inheritance).
I cannot help but ask: how does all this reasoning relate to the modern African age? Does the modern African man still face all the challenges given above? Does he still want many wives who can give him a son to take over his household or kingdom (in a world that elections are now held) and women can be rulers too?
Do you African men still want many children in this world filled with orphans and abandoned children? Do you, my African sisters still think that polygamy is a good birth control method? Do many polygamous African sisters still think that you are not good enough to get a husband all to yourself without sharing?
The reasoning that there are more women then men no longer makes sense. Perhaps then, men were dying in the army and women were just too many. However, today men are no longer the only sex serving in the military. The death rate of men in the army has dropped significantly from the time of King Shaka's era to when Nelson Mandela was imprisoned. So do not worry yourself sisi, there are enough man for the entire African sisters out there.
Even though I agree with having pride in our African culture, seen in light of the dominant western culture, this culture cannot be reason enough to continue this practice. The fear that traditional African culture will die is not sufficient to warrant acceptance of a tradition, like polygamy, which is outdated and harmful to women.
When I ask if polyandry will ever be part of polygamy many people stare at me in awe, as if I have asked a question that is off boundary. So again I ask of polygamy; what's culture got to do with it? Instead of concentrating on ways to fulfil our sexual desires with many wives and trying to have many children so that our ego can get a boost, let's get into the true African culture. This is a culture of respect, giving and sharing for the good of all African people without segregating its citizen because of race, sex, nationality or age.
Emsie Erastus in an intern working with the Gender and Media Diversity Centre. This article is part of the GL Opinion and Commentary Service that offers fresh news on every day news.
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